Recognizing the Signs: When Your Loved One Needs Professional Help
Understanding the warning signs and knowing when to seek mental health support can make all the difference.
When someone we love begins to struggle emotionally or behaviorally, it can be difficult to know how serious it is—or what to do about it. You may find yourself wondering:
Is this just stress or burnout?
Is it a phase they’ll grow out of?
Am I overreacting?
Many families wait far too long to seek help. Often, it's out of fear, confusion, or simply not recognizing the early warning signs. But when mental health concerns go unaddressed, symptoms can escalate, relationships can become strained, and families may find themselves caught in cycles of crisis and uncertainty.
Learning how to recognize the signs—and feeling confident in when and how to take action—is an essential step in supporting a loved one through their mental health journey.
Why It’s So Hard to Tell
Mental health challenges don’t always show up the way we expect. They can emerge gradually or fluctuate over time. A person might look “functional” on the outside—going to school or work, posting on social media, even smiling at dinner—while quietly slipping into distress.
As a result, it’s common for loved ones to minimize concerns or rationalize changes:
“She’s just tired.” “Teenagers are moody.” “He’s under a lot of pressure at work.”
While some ups and downs are normal, there are certain patterns that suggest a deeper issue is at play.
Red Flags to Pay Attention To
1. Changes in Personality or Mood
A once social and easygoing person becomes withdrawn, irritable, or explosive. Or someone known for their calm, steady presence starts exhibiting unpredictable emotional swings. When shifts in mood or personality feel out of character and persist for weeks, it’s worth paying attention.
2. Loss of Motivation and Joy (Anhedonia)
If your loved one no longer shows interest in things they used to love—hobbies, friendships, music, work—it may be a sign of depression or another underlying concern. This isn’t just laziness or disinterest; it often signals emotional pain or numbness.
3. Decline in Daily Functioning
Mental health challenges often interfere with daily responsibilities. Is your loved one missing appointments, skipping class, letting personal hygiene slide, or struggling to follow through on basic tasks? This decline in executive functioning is a red flag.
4. Sleep and Appetite Changes
Too much or too little sleep, difficulty falling or staying asleep, loss of appetite, or overeating can all reflect emotional distress, especially when they’re out of sync with the person’s usual habits.
5. Increased Substance Use or Risky Behavior
Alcohol, cannabis, or other substances may be used to cope with underlying distress. Escalating use, secretive behavior, or increased risk-taking (reckless driving, unsafe sex, aggressive behavior) are often overlooked signs that a person is struggling to manage internal pain.
6. Expressions of Hopelessness or Self-Blame
When someone starts saying things like “Nothing matters,” “I’m such a burden,” or “The world would be better off without me,” they may be expressing serious emotional despair—even if they brush it off afterward.
7. Talk of Suicide or Self-Harm
Any mention of not wanting to be alive, harming themselves, or suicidal thoughts—no matter how vague—should be taken seriously. Don’t wait. Help is available, and early intervention can save a life.
When to Take Action
It’s time to seek professional help when:
Symptoms persist for more than two weeks
Daily life (school, work, relationships) is being affected
You notice significant changes in thinking, behavior, or mood
Your loved one expresses or hints at self-harm or suicide
Your gut instinct tells you something is wrong
If you’re unsure, it’s okay to seek help just to explore your concerns. You don’t need to wait for things to get worse.
What You Can Do as a Family Member
Supporting someone with mental health needs is not about having all the answers—it’s about showing up, staying grounded, and knowing how to connect them with help. Here are a few steps you can take:
1. Open the Door to Conversation
Use a calm and compassionate tone. Avoid confrontation or diagnosis. Try something like:
“I’ve noticed you seem really down lately, and I’m worried about you. I’m here if you want to talk.”
Even if they’re not ready, your concern can plant a seed.
2. Offer Support Without Pushing
Let your loved one know you’re there to help with next steps—finding a therapist, making a call, or just sitting with them while they think through their options. Respect their pace, but don’t ignore serious signs.
3. Know What Resources Are Available
Familiarize yourself with local and national support options (see list below). If they’re in crisis, you can reach out on their behalf.
4. Take Care of Yourself, Too
Being a support person is emotionally taxing. Seek your own support through coaching, therapy, or peer groups. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
Mental Health Resources
If you're in the U.S., these resources can help:
Encourage your loved one to see their PCP
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial or text 988 (available 24/7)
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) | www.nami.org/help
Mental Health America: www.mhanational.org
Local services in Maine:
Maine Crisis Line: 1-888-568-1112 (statewide, 24/7)
Intentional Warm Line (peer support): 1-866-771-9276
211 Maine: Call 211 or visit www.211maine.org
Final Thoughts
Recognizing when your loved one needs help can feel overwhelming, but you’re not alone—and neither are they.
Trust your instincts. Even if you’re unsure, even if you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing—reaching out with care and concern is always better than staying silent.
Getting help isn’t a failure. It’s a courageous, life-affirming step toward healing.